EP 75: How to keep your spouse from spying on you

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Episode 75 of the Divorce and Your Money Show discusses how you can keep your spouse from spying on you.

As the marriage breaks down, spying is very common. Often, one spouse becomes very curious, especially if the divorce is eminent. Your spouse could start checking your mail, your phone, or anything that can be tracked. Money (and other things) can start to disappear.

No matter what led to the divorce, you should still consider keeping your private information safe from your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Not doing so can come back to haunt you, even years down the line. If you have not filed for divorce yet, you need to make this information private before you talk to your attorney.

Here are six things you can do to keep your spouse from spying on you:

  • Get a private physical address.
  • Get a private phone and computer.
  • Change your email address.
  • Change your passwords.
  • Set up individual bank accounts.
  • Check your credit report.

When it comes to a private physical address, the most simple option is a PO Box. Another option is having a friend receive your mail for you. The main idea is to keep your spouse from being able to access the mail you receive.

During a divorce, you need a phone that can be used anonymously. That will help you stay in contact with your attorney and friends through a private channel. As smartphones record all kinds of data, it is not wise to use them during the divorce.

If you share a computer with your spouse, the first thing you need to do is get a new one. You do not want to have your information stored on a computer that you share with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.

Then you need to change your email address and passwords. Your spouse should not know about this address, and you need to change the passwords on all of your existing accounts. Getting a private email address is a way for you to keep your important information safe. Only share it with your closest friends and attorney. Changing your passwords will stop your spouse from having access to your accounts.

Next, get a new checking account that is only in your name. Ideally, open an account that only you have access to—at a different bank. That way, you can save money, which you will need to help you through the divorce.

Lastly, closely monitor your credit report. You need to check the records of every account that your name appears on. Things could start looking fishy, so you need to ensure you are aware of what is going on. You should even consider freezing your credit; this can stop your spouse from opening accounts in your name.

Key Learning Points:

  • Souses can become very curious, especially if the divorce is eminent. 
  • No matter what led to the divorce, you should still consider keeping your private information safe.
  • There are six things that you can do to keep your spouse from spying on you.
  • Get a private physical address.
  • Get a private phone and computer.
  • Change your email address.
  • Change your passwords.
  • Set up individual bank accounts.
  • Check your credit report.

Thank you for listening to the Divorce and Your Money Show. Visit us at www.divorceandyourmoney.com and be sure to check out the NEW course Divorce 101: Steps to Take Before Divorce.

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Shawn Leamon, MBA, CDFA

Dallas, Texas

Shawn C. H. Leamon is Managing Partner of LaGrande Global, a firm that helps successful families manage large financial transitions like divorce, inheritance and selling a business.

He earned his Bachelor of Arts from Dartmouth College, double majoring in Economics and Philosophy, and his Masters in Business Administration at Spain’s IE Business School.

Before founding LaGrande Global, Shawn helped manage $1.1 billion in client assets at Bernstein Global Wealth Management. He also worked as a credit research analyst at J.P. Morgan. He is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and he has been an advisor to numerous high-stakes divorce cases.

Shawn is the author of two well-received finance books: Managing Private Wealth: Principles, and Divorce and Your Money: The No-Nonsense Guide, both published in 2016.

In his spare time, Shawn is an ultra-endurance athlete and has competed in events as long as 24 hours. He is an Eagle Scout and a member of the Alumni Board of Greenhill School.